Why is it so hard to find our life purpose? There certainly is no short supply of problems in this world that need solving. There is no limit on the number of people whom we could help, or inspire, or support. There is no cap on the number of passions we could pursue. Yet, our life purpose often feels hard to pursue.
There are many reasons why you may not know your life purpose. Sometimes it’s because the world’s problems seem too big, or we seem too small. Or maybe we are just exhausted from life and don’t know where we’ll find the energy to fight for what really matters to us. But finding and living our purpose is key to having a meaningful, fulfilling life so I strive to help people insert purpose into their lives.
Here are some key steps I suggest to getting started exploring your purpose.
Step 1: Find out what drives you.
One way to find your purpose is to ask yourself: What pain or injustice or unhappiness have I witnessed that I just can’t live with? Is there anything that touches me so deeply that it drives me? Often, a powerful purpose can come from powerful pain.
Conversely, what is it that I find myself lost in for hours with much delight and satisfaction — a hobby, a work project, a conversation, a topic in a book? Something that is so fulfilling that I just can’t seem to stop doing it? That may very well be something that inspires and drives you. Please, stop and take notice because if we are going to find our purpose, we will need to slow down long enough to spot it.
Step 2: Find out what energizes you.
Many years ago, I had a friend who I did my undergraduate studies with who later became a great case study in how to find your purpose. You see, he didn’t discover and start doing what truly energized him until he was in his 50’s.
For the sake of this article, I will call my friend “John”. John was a sports fanatic extraordinaire, and a closet sports announcer. No one knew this was his passion. When I would go to John’s house to visit, he would be watching a baseball game on TV with the volume off and a mic in his hand, taping his own play-by-play as if he were the announcer for the game. And, as with most people who have a passion for something, John would critique his announcing and seek to improve himself for the next game, albeit, in the privacy of his own home.
Like most of us in this world, we pick a career that is safe and easy to get into, so we assure ourselves of being able to make a living. For most of us it can be beliefs and norms from our family and friends, as we grow up, that influence our desire to pick a career that will provide us with a comfortable life. John was no different, as his parents convinced him to choose a college major based on what they thought would end up being a “sure thing”, from a job standpoint. However, as can be with many people, and certainly true for John, they will go through life having followed the advice of a parent, or other influential people, and will totally hate what they do.
John was invited to sit in the press box and chat with the announcers at his son’s football games in high school. As time went on John would throw in his two cents until one day he was offered the opportunity to announce one of the games that his son would play in. The locals in this small-town thought John was so extraordinary and entertaining that he was eventually offered the lead job announcing all the football games going forward. They enjoyed his announcing so much, that he continued to be the voice of the high school football games for many years after his son had graduated. This illustrates my point, that we need to constantly be seeking our purpose, that which energizes us, because as it was in John’s case, you can miss your calling or greater purpose for much of your life.
So, to find your life purpose, ask yourself: What energizes me?
Step 3: Find out “that something” you are willing to sacrifice for.
Feeling burn-out after working for a large national health system for 30 years, I paused to ask myself what I really wanted to do. I don’t know about you, but often I think I want to do something, but I don’t end up following through or putting in the work required to succeed — a sign that whatever it was, wasn’t important enough to me to sacrifice for.
This time was different, though. I took an assessment to evaluate my strengths and, what I truly enjoyed doing. The results of the assessment pointed me toward executive leadership coaching. Why? Because it revealed not only my strengths, but also the areas of work and life that brought me joy and those areas which did not. I decided at that time (with the encouragement of my wife), that my purpose in life was to start my own coaching business, because helping others find answers, connect with others, and ultimately grow in life and work brought me my most joyous moments. So I stepped away from an executive leadership position, that had much security, and formed a business knowing that there would be days, weeks, and maybe even months of sacrifice ahead.
Believe me, it took sacrifice and hard work to create a business from the ground up. I worked relentlessly to the point of burnout. Now, I’m not recommending that you sacrifice to the point of burnout, but what I am saying is that when you find something that you are willing to sacrifice a lot for, you know that you’ve found your purpose.
So, ask yourself: What am I willing to sacrifice for?
Step 4: Find out who you want to help.
Early in my career I moonlighted at a local university teaching business, marketing, and organizational development courses. I was so energized by students who were so hungry to learn and fill themselves up with knowledge that I couldn’t get enough of it. Their challenging questions and thirst for answers kept me sharp as an executive and a leader. I enjoyed inspiring people so much that I did this in addition to my executive position for more than 17 years. I never grew tired, but it always seemed that as I climbed the ladder of success, I had less and less time for what really brought me joy. It wasn’t until I commenced on the journey to start my consulting and coaching business, that I realized helping others who had a thirst for honing their skills as executive leaders, entrepreneurs, and business owners was indeed my greater purpose.
There are many ways to chip away at the same problem, and it’s up to you to find out who you want to help. By figuring out the cause, or people you want to help, you can more easily find your purpose.
To find your life purpose, ask yourself: Who do I want to help?
Step 5: Find out how you want to help.
When I first started my consulting and coaching business, I helped everyone that came my way — young executives, high-potential leaders, new business owners, struggling business owners, aspiring entrepreneurs, etc. As I acquired more and more clients with different needs, I found a real passion in helping executive level leaders and leadership teams that were struggling to understand how to lead with passion. As a result of the love I have for what I do, I find myself needing to check myself periodically for downtime, because I’m so passionate about what I do in my business, that I find myself working seven days a week. Now hear me, I don’t advocate for that because it will indeed lead to burnout, but it makes the point that when you find your purpose, work becomes easier and filled with joy.
To find your purpose, you need to figure out what your strengths or specific skills are that bring you joy and fulfillment, and make a commitment to yourself to find more of “it” and less of what you loathe doing.
Ask yourself: What do I love to do? And how do I apply this passion to my purpose?
Conclusion
Finding your life purpose is a lifelong journey. It’s OK to take it one step at a time. It’s normal to pause and reevaluate regularly. And it’s OK to feel overwhelmed. Nothing worth doing is easy, and this will not always be easy. You will encounter frustrations and challenges along the way. Some days, you’ll throw your hands up in the air in defeat. But then you’ll remember Step 1 – You’re driven to solve this problem. So remember, the reward is greater than the effort.
